26 September 2026
Saturday. I have transcribed the order pad, because the waiter writes in a shorthand only he and I can read, and I am not sure about him.
Table one: eight guests, the maximum. Loud. Had clearly done escape rooms before. Took the slaughterhouse in their stride and argued about a lock for nine minutes. Promising.
Table two: a pair, midweek. On a Saturday the waiter insists on at least four at a table, but on a Tuesday a pair is quite acceptable. Ate everything on the menu. Very polite. Escaped. Disappointing.
Table three: one guest arrived in a wheelchair and the waiter noted, approvingly, that the room was built for it. One chair per session, no crawling, no squeezing through anything undignified. A couple of puzzles are a stretch from a seated position, so the rest of the table did the reaching. Teamwork. I find it nauseating.
Table four: a guest with asthma who had read the warnings about my theatrical smoke and chosen a different room. Sensible. The waiter respects a diner who reads the menu.
General note: there is a great deal of reading in this room. Guests who dislike reading should bring a friend who does not.
— U.
