14 September 2021
Tuesday. To the management, from the talent.
Item one: the panic button. There is one in every coffin. A guest presses it and a gamesmaster arrives, cheerfully, to let them out. I have asked for the buttons to be smaller, quieter or painted to look like a knot in the wood. All requests declined.
Item two: the cameras. Every minute of every game is watched. I had imagined myself as the only one watching, from the shadows, with a candle. Instead there is a person in a hoodie with a headset and a cup of tea, watching better than I ever could.
Item three: the rule about not burying anybody who has been drinking. I agree with this one, actually. A tipsy guest cannot appreciate fine joinery.
Item four: the hints. My guests ask for help and receive it, kindly, through the dark. I spent a year making those puzzles difficult. The gamesmasters undo it in a sentence.
I await your reply. I expect it to be “no”, written warmly.
— U.
